I am so excited because this week's episode is not only the first of many expert guest interviews, but it's also where we dive into all things postpartum.

Introducing Allison McQuaid, LCPC, PMH-C!

Allie is a Maryland-based licensed professional counselor, certified in perinatal mental health. Allie specializes in working with moms and kids who are struggling with feelings of overwhelm, identity development, and life changes. She is a first time mom of a toddler, wife of a firefighter, dog mom to a German Shepard, and lover of all things millennial nostalgia. After struggling with her own perinatal anxiety during the height of the pandemic, Allie started to seek out support and education about how she could specialize in this area and help other moms who are struggling.

I felt that Allie would be a great first guest and we had an amazing conversation about perinatal mental health, how to start normalizing our experiences, and everything in-between. So first-things-first, let’s get clear – what is perinatal mental health anyway?

Perinatal mental health is the timeframe from pregnancy through the first year postpartum, and it really focuses its attention on what other things come up for moms during that time. Emotional trauma, birth trauma, hormone changes, life transitions, mom brain, identity crises - you name it. 

Allie notes that expecting mothers go through numerous substages in this perinatal timeframe, with each substage bringing its own individual challenges. This includes pre-conception (trauma from previous pregnancy loss or attempts, shock, etc.), early pregnancy (learning the ropes, body changes, etc.), late pregnancy (physical symptoms, anxiety around childbirth, etc.), the first four months postpartum (body image struggles, sleep deprivation, life transitions, etc.), and beyond four months postpartum (milestones, going back to work, etc.). And, in addition to going through all of these challenging milestones, let’s also give an honorable mention to the fact that moms feel like they’re doing it wrong every step of the way. 

Given that the perinatal stage brings expecting mothers ALL of the ups and the downs, the traumas, and so on, we wanted to highlight the importance of mamas seeking support through the journey.

Allie shares what she encourages clients to pay close attention to, and when to know that moms might need that additional help:

• If you’re not sleeping enough, or you’re sleeping too much 

• If you’re struggling to meet basic needs - eating, getting ready, general hygiene 

• If you’re feeling consumed by your thoughts or you’re experiencing panic attacks

• If you’re experiencing flashbacks to something traumatic, or you’re experiencing distress to an unmanageable degree

It’s about time we normalize experiencing any and all of these things in the perinatal stage of our lives.

Anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts, trauma, grief, mom brain, and mom rage are all part of it — well beyond the cliche “baby blues”. Our identities shift and change, and our expectations often go unmet. You may start by thinking you’re a certain kind of mom or that motherhood will go a certain type of way, and then reality hits.

You tend to question the person you think you are, but the reality is that you are a brand new version. 

Allie and I both often ask our mom clients, “what would you do if you were given two free hours in a week?” and spoiler alert: most moms can’t answer. This is because as moms and as women we tend to hold space for friends, family, kids, our jobs, our communities, and all of the humans in a time where there is also a lot of hard stuff going on in the world. We then experience an influx of information telling us how we should be, both as a mom and as a woman, forcing us to question ourselves and whether or not we’re cut out for this.

I want to remind this audience that you were someone before you gained your roles and responsibilities, before you were a partner, before you became a mother.

Tapping into who you authentically are is so helpful, and it strengthens your mama powers. Our top tips for mom re-discovery: Lean into what used to light you up, even in childhood. Listen to old songs you used to listen to and dance to them. Think about what sports you played and hobbies you had, and what you really enjoyed. Find your interests and do them with your kids. Tune into yourself by engaging in things for pleasure’s sake. Build who you are today, and who you’re becoming. It’s never too late to become who you want to be. 

We want to remind you, mama: you’re not a bad person or a bad mom if you’re struggling with intrusive thoughts, depression, mom rage, mommy brain, your overall identity, or anything in-between.

This is part of the experience, and there are numerous resources out there to help (support groups, individual therapy, EMDR, and more)! For additional perinatal resources and workshops, follow Allie:

Website: Anchor Counseling Centers

Website: Postpartum Support International

LinkedIn: Allison McQuaid, LCPC

Instagram: @millennialmomtherapist

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean