How often do you take time to take care of yourself? Does it sometimes feel selfish to do that since you feel like everyone’s else needs come before yours?

If you’ve been around for a minute, you know that back in December I had some pretty scary health things happen. It wasn’t until I was getting my hair done and my friend, who does my hair, encouraged me to go to the ER because my well-being freakin matters. After I left the appointment, I just had this intuition inside of me to go to the ER. And after having all of the tests under the sun done, answers have still not been found. I felt like I was dying for those 5 days. You guys, I was begging and pleading to God to take the pain away. 

My eyes were really opened up to this after so many Western docs told me nothing was wrong, when clearly there was something wrong because of the pain I was experiencing. One day I want to get into functional medicine and nutrition because they take a deeper look at everything in your body, but I am not ready for that just yet. For now and for the last two months, I’ve had to cut my favorite vices, which is my nightly wine and brie cheese and Amazon Prime and I’ve become more mindful of what’s going into my body. And you guys know I cannot make a thousand changes at once, it’s all baby steps. I like to take them consistently until they’re habitual and they’re easier. We’ll get there!

There’s also been this spiritual side of this journey for me. You all know that I have a very big passion and mission to help women, moms particularly, remove barriers holding them back from stepping into their fullest power, potency and potential. I have a huge mission to help mamas with their mental health and create this ripple effect where as one mama heals, another mama heals, their families heal, their teams here, their classroom heals. You see?

When we heal mother, we heal the world, right? When we heal mother, we heal the planet.

So from all of this happening, I have learned that in order to step into this next iteration of myself, my life, leadership and my business, I had to shed some serious stuff that was no longer serving me…aka that wine and brie cheese and Amazon Prime. Those coping mechanisms were self-sabotaging me, they were keeping me playing small, giving me shame and making me feel not so good in my mental health - which created this doubt in my abilities. 

As a therapist, coach and mom, I thought I was taking pretty darn good care of myself, but I think I just didn’t know there was this whole other layer, or maybe I was afraid of stepping into the layer of self-care that was going to unlock a next level of success for more. So that brings me to what today’s episode is all about, reframing self-care in our minds from something like self-care is selfish to self-care is the vehicle to my success. 

When I made the decision to start taking better care of myself, I am unlocking a next level of success. 

What are some of the things that come to mind when you hear the word self-care? Maybe it’s a massage, getting your nails done, a facial, going on a retreat, yeah? And by the way those are all beautiful examples, I won’t ever sit here and knock any version of self-care because mama, you deserve it all. But what I want to introduce to you is this idea of a hierarchy of needs when it comes to self-care. Again, getting the nails done is all fine, but when we do only that, we’re missing some of the foundational keys that are going to help us be healthy mind, body and spirit. 

Before we get to that though, I actually want to remind you of the power of deciding, the power of choice. YOU, my love, have the power to choose that you’re going to start taking better care of yourself. Whether that decision was forced upon us like mine was, or a decision you’re choosing to make - everything begins with the choice.

Just like in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, when it comes to self-care, everything is built on the basic needs.  It’s what we need to survive, the thing that we need for the rest of the things to stick into matter. 

Hierarchy of Self-Care

1. Make sure basic needs are met - Are you in a safe/secure environment? Do you have shelter, food and hydration? Are you interacting with other humans? Because did you know, if we completely isolate ourselves, we will die. If your basic needs are not met, but you’re getting your nails done, that experience of getting your nails done isn’t going to give you the depth of what you really need to FEEL your best so you can BE your best.

2. Check in on your psychological, mental and emotional needs - Are you in systems, in homes and in relationships where you feel safe and that there is space for you?

3. Beliefs - Your beliefs play such an important role in self-care. One of the things that really prevents women from taking the action that they set for themselves around self-care is the belief that it’s not important, it’s selfish, everything else is more important. So either our beliefs can help us get the result we want or they can hinder us. I encourage you to take a few moments to do some exploration of your beliefs around self-care. 

4. Create Boundaries - protecting your intention. That means be aware of and mindful and intentional around the vision you’ve set for yourself. Living with your integrity is self-freakin care. You do not let feelings of guilt precent you from any of your self-care practices. Engaging in those habits of self-sabotage like that, chips away at our self-trust and our self-worth. And when we try to slap a massage, pedicure, a retreat over that, sure it feels good in the moment, but it’s not gonna get down to the core of your well-being. This is what boundaries look like. Another boundary looks like asking for help and learning to receive, something us women frickin’ struggle with. It is okay to ask for that help and when we are able to receive that help, there’s so much surrender and ease in that way that we don’t need to take a sledgehammer to our mental health.

5. The Feel Good Things - This is where the morning/midday/evening rituals, massages, retreats, meditations and journaling, dance classes, or yoga classes - anything that is fun and makes you feel good, comes into the picture.

What beliefs do we need to uproot, reprogram, and upgrade that gives you full permission to take up the time and space and the financial investment to take better care of yourself?

And so my love, what might be possible for you when you start to take your self-care to a deeper level? If you’ve been neglecting all of it, I get it. You are not alone. You aren’t doing it wrong. I just want to invite you into a different way of being. When you choose to take better care of yourself, you’re telling your subconscious, your inner parts, your inner child and adolescent that you matter, that you deserve to take up space and you are worth the investment.

If you want a beautiful life, you gotta tune your instrument to resonate with hat life you want. You can do this, mama. I believe in you.

COMING IN MARCH!

If you're ready to ditch these old ways of being that are perfectionistic and anxiety provoking, and you're ready to unlock and unleash that next level of potential, then join me for unBOUNDED: The Mastermind for Mama. This is the most potent and transformational container that I have ever offered women and mothers to date. I have compiled decades worth of tools, techniques, whether it's energy, leadership, nervous system regulation, boundary setting, all of it, and poured it into this six month mastermind for mamas. This is the deeper work that I'm talking about, that's what we're going to be doing in a group of like-minded sisterhood. It is going to be so powerful. More information is coming soon, the program launches March 5th - be sure you’re on my email list to get all the details!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

XO, Brooke Jean