I am so excited for today’s episode because this week I finally had the opportunity to chat with mom therapist, parent coach, and advocate for the burnt out and overstimulated mama — the amazing Stacy McCann!

Stacy is a licensed therapist, parent coach of over 13 years, and a mom of one sweet and spicy little girl. In her businesses, Present Moment Counseling and Present Parent Coaching, Stacy works to support burnt out, overstimulated, and overwhelmed moms who don’t have the village they expected to have, and just want to feel better. 

Now it’s no secret that we are freaking overwhelmed as moms. We’re constantly juggling a million things and we’re making sure that everyone else is good at all times. We’re used to running around like crazy, and we can get comfortable with not checking in with ourselves.

so how do we know if we have reached a point of real burn out?

The first thing that Stacy looks at when determining burnout is how much time is spent alone — or really, how little time. She will then take note of how us moms are feeling, and ultimately what we’re showing. Are you experiencing anger, frustration, or rage? Are you finding yourself feeling more negative recently? Are you anxious as all get-out? Are you freaking overstimulated? And are we adding in the fact that you haven’t had a single moment alone in god knows how long? There’s a good chance that you’re burnt out, love.

Now let’s start from the top — how do we help ourselves out of this mess?

Like we have mentioned previously, us moms are really good at not paying attention to our own needs. We’re often too busy with making sure everyone else has their ducks in a row, including both our children and our partners. So here’s how we can start tuning back into ourselves:

• Make sure that your basic needs are met. This needs to be step one. Make sure that you are drinking water throughout the day, using the restroom when you need to, and eating real meals (more than just the leftover crust from your kid’s pb & j)!
  

• Find a small moment in the day to tune in on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Do you have a migraine? Are you having an energy crash in the afternoon? How are you feeling emotionally today?
  

• Identify what triggers negative emotions and feelings of being overwhelmed, and also pay attention to what makes you feel good. For those brief moments that you feel good, keep track of why you feel good and start implementing more of it throughout your day.
  

• Start small with self-care and gradually expand the time and focus on moments of positivity and well-being. It doesn’t have to be fancy — start with even 5 minutes.
  

• Recognize the importance of recharging your "battery" throughout the day in short bursts rather than waiting until it's nearly depleted. Practice mindfulness around this and prioritize these recharging moments.

• Ask for help where you need it, especially within your household. Identify partner expectations and how the roles have looked, and start having a conversation around how they can shift. The expectation shouldn’t be that you are in charge of everything.

• Allow the help even when it looks different than how you would do it. Release the need for control. Stop trying to be perfect and make more space for being good enough.

The part about parenting that we often forget about is that we need to have a full tank to be able to show up for our kids. And when we don’t prioritize our own needs, it not only takes a sledgehammer to our physical, mental, and emotional health, but it also gets absorbed by our kids.

Stacy’s work reminds us that self-care isn’t selfish mama — it’s a necessity.

Connect with Stacy!

Instagram: @presentparentcs

Website: presentmomentcs.com

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean