Today I’m here to share all things in my mental health toolbox as a therapist, coach, and struggling working mom. 

You might be wondering what I even mean by “toolbox”, so let’s kick off the conversation there:

When we refer to your toolbox we are referring to a list of tools that you can call on proactively and reactively in order to make you feel better. Today I want to share what is in my current toolbox, but let’s note why a toolbox is important to have in the first place.

life is hard, life is messy, and being a mom is the hardest job we are ever going to do. 

We have seen increases in all mental health conditions across the board in recent years with the pandemic, and as a society we have been going through it. Plus, in addition to the general struggle of the population, statistics show that mothers are 75% more likely to experience a mental health condition. It’s clear that we are in need of some freaking TLC.

We don’t have to hide the struggles we face anymore — we need to normalize the fact that shit is hard and we need to embrace our own ways to help us feel better. I personally love having people write out their tools, whether that is in a journal or your planner or in your notes app — it just has to be somewhere that is accessible as a reminder for you.

Now before I hop into the specific tools I use in my own mental health toolbox, let’s clarify what our intentions should be with this self-help moving forward:

The goal is not to feel good all of the time or to be happy all of the time. Instead, the goal is to use our tools to help us manage the highs and the lows so that we can be okay no matter what. 

Remember – everyone is different, and it is okay if my list of tools doesn’t work for you. Maybe you resonate with some and others not at all — the idea here is to be thinking about ways that you can implement more self-care and mental health help into your day-to-day life. So as some examples of tools you can start incorporating, here is what I’m rocking with right now:

1. My morning ritual. This has changed my life in such impactful ways and I do this as often as I can. If the stars are aligning and I am able to do my ritual, I get up before my family and I heat up my hot lemon water. While I let the hot lemon water cool down I meditate for 10 minutes, and I then get indirect sunlight into my eyes, I journal, and I do a little bit of vagus nerve toning and conditioning. Now that I’ve been doing this ritual for years I have expanded it even more to start assessing what I need for that day – sometimes I will visualize the life that I want to live, who I want to be, and how I want to feel. Or if there’s been a lot going on energetically and I’m struggling some morning, I will do more of an energy clearing meditation instead. I choose my own adventure based on my needs, and every morning is different. How you start the day sets your tone for the day my loves. 

2. Taking mini-breaks and mini-pauses throughout the day. This could be as simple as doing deep belly breathing while I run to the bathroom, doing an energy cleansing after I leave my office, eating my lunch, taking a little walk, going upstairs and stretching a little bit, putting my hands on the steering wheel and taking 3 deep breaths in. These little things add up throughout the day and are my daily sips of self-care. More often than not we can start our day beautifully and then it can dwindle throughout the day as the stress piles up, so I want you to start being intentional about taking your own mini-pauses throughout your day. 

3. Walking for 20-40 minutes every day. Getting outside, getting my body moving, listening to the birds, listening to binaural music. My walk might happen during the day or when I’m on a call with a client, or it might be a special time at night. Movement in any form matters. 

4. Drinking lots of water. I drink half of my body weight in ounces every day, and I swear by it. We have to stay hydrated and flush out the toxins. 

5. Dabbling in supplements. I’m just starting to scratch the surface in this area, and I’m looking at what lifestyle choices I can make that can help nourish my body to help my energy. I love the brand Cymbiotika for clean products and I’ve been utilizing a brain-boosting combo of a supplement called “Golden Mind” in the morning and magnesium at night. I’ve noticed it helps me get better sleep!

6. Yoga-nidra. This is a waking meditation where you lay down and pay attention to different areas of your body. One yoga-nidra practice is equivalent to 3 hours of your most restful sleep, and I practice it in the afternoon for 10 to 20 minutes. It rests my  brain, rests my body, and regulates my nervous system for what I refer to as the “second shift” of my day. I love the “Mindful Mamas” app for my go-to yoga nidra, and I also love the free app called “Insight Timer”. 

7. Me time from 6:30-7:30pm every day. This is the time of the day where my family knows that mom is doing something for herself. Sometimes I’ll do my walk, sometimes I’ll take a hot bath to regulate – I’ll just do something for myself because having a break to look forward to every day is crucial for our mental health. Do you see how over time these pockets of time might make you feel a little bit better? When you schedule these moments for yourself this is not the time for you to get caught up on your to-do’s. There’s always going to be stuff left undone and we need to have radical acceptance of that. You need to use these times for YOU – to rest, to regulate, to tend to your mental and emotional well-being. We don’t need to do more shit, we need to be more balanced. 

8. Staying inspired and connected to my meaning and purpose. This can be in the form of a course or training, a podcast, investing in my development, learning from others, connecting with like-minded individuals, having a group of women come together, going to lunch with a fellow working mom. My core values are purpose, pleasure, and playfulness so I have to be doing things connected to my purpose to feel like myself. I make sure I have space in my week for this. 

9. Subconscious reprogramming. I utilize “To Be Magnetic” workshops which is a brand of manifestation that aligns with neuroscience and helps me reprogram my subconscious mind. I’ve seen beautiful benefits in updating my outdated beliefs and seeing what’s possible. You can also tune into the Expanded Podcast for free resource by Lacy Phillips, curator of the To Be Magnetic brand. 

10. Therapy! I’ve seen a lot of different therapists throughout my life for an eating disorder, brain spotting, talk therapy, and cognitive behavioral therapy, and I’m now looking at my next leg of therapy. I might get into more brain spotting, EMDR, internal family systems work, or psychoanalytical work. I believe the right healers come at the right time and I’m going to see which doors open for me in therapy. 

In summary – these 10 tools in my toolbox right now are game changers for my mental health, and I hope that you found 1 or 2 that resonate with you. Even if none of them stuck with you — start building your own toolbox by taking a mix of the things that work for you and implementing them into your life consistently for 30 days.

i’m going to keep working on myself because i deserve it, and you do too. 

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean