I want to get into a very important topic and something that I utilize myself everyday – defusion from negative thought patterns.

Let me first start by telling you why I’m so passionate about this. 

As human beings we are a walking, anxious species. Our brains are wired for protection and safety. We are always looking for the threat, the worst case scenario, and weak points. And while this evolution in our brains is meant to keep us safe, it has actually caused us to form new neural pathways around this negative thinking. That, in combo with our world today and our exposure to everything, has made us adopt genuine feelings of danger. We feel unsafe even when we aren’t.

It’s been guestimated that we have approximately 60,000 - 80,000 thoughts a day – around 80% of thoughts being unhelpful, unpleasant and overall negative, and around 80% of those irrational thoughts being repetitive. These statistics don’t even account for the trauma from COVID-19 and our newly adapted anxiety responses, so you can only imagine where these percentages really lie today.

if you are walking around with this “stinkin thinkin,” i want to acknowledge the fact that you are not alone, and that there is nothing wrong with you. 

Today I am going to give you a real therapeutic technique to help you build some awareness and distance between these thoughts and your responses to them. 

This technique is known as defusion, and it stems from a treatment style known as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Defusion allows us to divert from the negative thought loops we find ourselves in and helps us create new, healthy neural pathways. Here’s how this is even possible:

We have a mechanism in our brain called the RAS - the reticular activating system.

This puppy sits like a net in our brain and gathers information around what is real and important based on what we focus our attention on. For example - if you focus on the thought that people are bad, you are telling your RAS to look for evidence that people are bad. If you’re in the market for a new house, you’re going to start noticing more real estate than you did previously. If you focus on the project failing, not having enough time, not being good enough, your kid not doing well, or your partner being annoying, the RAS is going to do everything it can to validate that thought. 

where your attention goes your energy flows, and you can imagine how much trouble this has gotten us humans into. 

Now here’s where the real issue comes in – our beliefs affect our thoughts, our thoughts determine our hormone release (which we label as an emotion), and our emotions lead us to take specific actions. The bottom line is that these unhelpful thoughts wreak havoc on our brains and bodies, friends. 

It’s time to talk about how you can start utilizing defusion. Let’s break it down into steps:

1. You have to first notice and name the shitty thought that you’re having. Sometimes these thoughts are conscious, but other times you have to really dig to find it. Identify the traps you find yourself in by noticing when your body responds. When do you notice a spike in anxiety or an increase in frustration? Trace back to the thought that you were just having before that feeling. What were you just thinking before you physically felt your chest tighten? Once you identify it and name it, back it up even further with a deep belly breath.

2. Start questioning the thought itself. Is this thought true and is it helpful? What evidence do you have that tells you that it’s factual? The reality is that we make a lot of assumptions. You have to lovingly check yourself. Back it up with another deep belly breath. 

3. Ask yourself – what else is possible here? Think about what new belief you want to adopt. What if my partner is also having a hard day? What if my boss does have the best intentions for me? From a neuroscience standpoint, these questions help you weaken the original neural pathway and force you into new neural activity. Back it up with another deep belly breath. 

4. Try to determine (when needed) – if I were to take action that’s in alignment with who I am and my values, what would that be? Maybe you would reach out to your team, you would clarify a misunderstanding, you would talk to your partner, you would go to your kid’s school and make the request. We need this piece, friends. 

in summary – you have to get right with yourself and commit to cleaning up your mind. 

You have to tap into your authentic values and desires and start taking action from there, not from your anxious thoughts. You have to declutter the gutter and work toward creating new neural pathways. 

When you practice defusion you will retrain your brain and it will change your life. You are not your thoughts my love – you are so much bigger. 

Anxiety Survival Kit

To check out our kit of 8 research and neuroscience-based tools to help manage anxiety, click HERE!

Take care of yourselves and therefore each other!

xo, brooke jean