What if the “good mom” label you’ve been chasing is actually the very thing keeping you stuck, burnt out, and disconnected from both yourself and your kids?

That question has been echoing in my mind ever since my conversation with Diane Sorensen — a woman who, like me, has lived the crushing weight of performance-based motherhood and decided she was done passing it down. We went all the way into the places most moms don’t want to look… the patterns we inherited, the pressure we absorbed, and the quiet ways we’ve trained our children to believe they must earn love.

Diane’s story started like so many of ours: a high-achieving, do-it-all mom trying to be perfect at every role — wife, mother, stepmother, teacher. On the outside, she looked like she had it together. On the inside, she was exhausted, overwhelmed, and completely disconnected from her true self. Her wake-up call came when her teenage daughter faced a mental health crisis.

It forced her to stop and ask the question most of us avoid: Could the way I’ve been living — performing, pleasing, and perfecting — be part of the problem?

That question cracked something open. Instead of doubling down on control, Diane got curious. She began unpacking the “good girl” and “good mom” rules she had inherited: always behave, never upset anyone, don’t show need, don’t want too much. She saw how those rules had silenced her voice and turned her into a master approval-seeker. And she realized how those same unspoken rules had seeped into her parenting, tying her worth to her kids’ behavior.

That’s the part that stopped me in my tracks. How many of us are unconsciously doing this? Believing that if our kids behave “right,” it means we’re good mothers… and if they don’t, we’ve failed? It’s an impossible standard — one that puts unbearable pressure on both parent and child.

Diane started making small but radical shifts. She replaced judgment with curiosity. Instead of reacting to her kids’ behavior with criticism or correction, she asked, “What am I making this mean about them? What am I making it mean about me?” She learned to see behavior as a language — an expression of what’s happening inside — rather than a measure of worth. She turned her focus from controlling outcomes to building relationships rooted in connection, safety, and emotional truth.

And here’s the thing: this doesn’t mean letting kids run wild or throwing boundaries out the window. It means leading instead of controlling. It means teaching by example — modeling self-respect, emotional regulation, and healthy boundaries — so our kids learn to like themselves and navigate life from that place.

Listening to Diane, I was struck by how much freedom lives on the other side of unsubscribing from the “good mom” myth. Freedom from the constant mental checklist of “how do I have to be in this moment so no one thinks less of me?” Freedom to parent from your values instead of fear. Freedom to actually enjoy your kids — and yourself — without making every moment a test you have to pass.

If you’ve been feeling the heaviness of motherhood lately, I want you to hear this: you can choose a different way. You can drop the pressure, reclaim your presence, and create a home where love isn’t something to earn, it’s the air you breathe.

That’s exactly the work we’re doing inside LEGEND. It’s where high-achieving women break free from perfectionism, learn to lead themselves and their families with more ease, and create extraordinary lives that are still allowed to be messy.

Spots are still open for our August 27th start. If you’re ready to live, lead, and mother in a way that actually feels good, now is your time to join us.

Connect with Diane!

Podcast: Beautiful Behavior
Instagram: @diane_sorensen_
Facebook: Diane Sorensen

Take care of yourself and there for each other!

XO, Brooke Jean