Are you leading… or just trying to outrun the fear of not being enough?

Ever sent 20 emails before sunrise? Or felt your heart race in a meeting while micromanaging a project into the ground? Ever walked away from a team interaction wondering, “What the hell just happened?”

Here’s the hard truth most leaders aren’t ready to hear:
You might be running your business from your trauma response.

Not your power.
Not your strategy.
Not your vision.
Your trauma.

And while it might look like success on paper—hyper-productivity, high standards, results delivered at lightning speed—the cost is quietly accumulating. Inside your nervous system. Inside your team. Inside the culture you’re unintentionally building.

When your leadership style is wired for survival—control, urgency, perfectionism—you’re not leading. You’re protecting. You’re managing the threat of not being enough, of being found out, of failing… and it’s exhausting.

This is anxiety in disguise.
This is perfectionism with a fancy title.
This is why so many high-achieving women are quietly burning out behind closed doors.

And here’s the kicker: trauma responses are contagious. When a leader is managing from fear, the team stops creating and starts calculating. Innovation dies. Collaboration tanks. Everyone’s walking on eggshells, more focused on avoiding mistakes than making magic.

Sound familiar?

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Real leadership—the intentional kind—is born from regulation, not reactivity. It’s grounded in self-awareness. It creates psychological safety, not pressure cookers. And it starts with the leader (yes, you) getting honest about the energy you’re bringing into the room.

So how do you shift?

Start small. Start with your breath.

Before that next meeting or decision, do a “leadership reset.” One hand on your heart, one on your belly. Three slow, deep breaths. Activate your vagus nerve. Tell your nervous system, “We’re safe now.” Bring your rational brain back online. This isn’t woo—it’s neuroscience.

Next, name it to tame it. Notice that urgency pulsing through your chest? Instead of reacting, ask yourself:

• Is this truly urgent?

• Am I leading from wisdom or wounding?

• Is this pressure… or protection?

When you interrupt the automatic response, you reclaim your power.

Then—radical idea—model it for your team. Let them see you pause. Let them hear you ask better questions. Instead of “Why isn’t this done?” try “What do you need to move this forward?”

That one shift in frequency creates psychological safety. And psychological safety? It’s the real productivity hack. It unlocks ideas, solutions, and honest conversations. It brings your people back to life.

Because here’s what you need to remember:
Your trauma response is not your fault.
But your healing? That is your responsibility. Especially when you’re leading others.

Leadership isn’t about getting everything done perfectly—it’s about creating space for the right things to emerge. It’s about embodying the energy you want your team to reflect. And it’s about doing the uncomfortable inner work that builds the emotional foundation for sustainable success.

You can run a business and be a human.
You can have high standards without high anxiety.
You can create results without recreating chaos.

But it starts with you getting out of fight-or-flight and back into alignment.

Pause. Breathe. Get curious.
Then lead.

Take care of yourself and there for each other!

XO, Brooke Jean