EPISODE 116

Joy After Death? Hell Yes: Why Dancing, Laughing, and Playing Might Be the Most Sacred Way to Grieve

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What if the thing you’ve been calling “burnout” is actually grief?

Not the kind that gets sympathy cards.
Not the kind you’re “allowed” to talk about in a staff meeting.
I’m talking about the grief that builds up while you crush goals, raise babies, lead teams, and try to hold it all together without falling apart.

Grief for who you used to be before everyone needed something from you.
Grief for the life you thought you'd have.
Grief for the ambition that once lit you up—but now feels like a prison.

Most women like us don’t call it grief.
We call it being tired.
We call it overwhelm.
We call it this season of life.

But underneath the perfectionism, the pressure, and the daily hustle… there’s a silent ache. A disconnection. A knowing that something has died—but you’re still pretending you’re fine.

That’s why my recent conversation with Marta Napoleone Mazzoni cracked me wide open.

Marta is a grief specialist, intuitive coach, meditation guide, speaker, and the host of the award-winning podcast Marta on the Move. She’s also walked through the kind of soul-loss most people won’t speak about—losing her sister, her identity, her freedom, her old life—and coming out the other side with even more compassion, creativity, and joy.

She doesn’t believe in polished grief.
She believes in real grief—the kind that howls, spirals, and eventually rebirths something wild and beautiful inside of you.

“The definition of grief is the natural reaction to change of any kind.” — Marta Napoleone Mazzoni

Read that again.
Change of any kind.

That means:
– Losing your sense of purpose
– Shifting from singlehood to marriage
– Becoming a mother and mourning your independence
– Letting go of who you were to become who you’re meant to be

These are the kinds of losses women like you—like Nicole—are carrying quietly. And because no one named it as grief, you thought you were just failing at “balance.”

You’re not.

You’re grieving.
And grief deserves to be honored, not hidden.

Marta and I talked about the tools that help—movement, breathwork, creativity, and the radical act of reclaiming joy in the middle of pain.

Because here's the truth:
Joy is not the opposite of grief. It’s part of it.
You don’t have to wait until you’re “okay” to start living again.
You don’t need to fix yourself before you feel pleasure, connection, or peace.

Your healing doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be yours.

So if you're feeling stuck, shut down, or like you're silently unraveling under the weight of it all… let this be your permission slip to stop performing. To stop calling it burnout. And to start grieving what you’ve lost so you can rise into what’s next.

Connect with Marta:

She’s a soft place to land—and a powerful guide back to your own magic.

Take care of yourself and there for each other!

XO, Brooke Jean

    • Marta and I reflect on the divine timing of this conversation.

    • She had just led a grief module the night before—unplanned but aligned.

    • We talk about how soul work attracts soul moments without effort.

    • Tech issues became the perfect metaphor for ditching perfection.

    • We embrace showing up messy and real—because that’s the medicine.

    • When you embody your work, you don’t need to perform or polish.

    • Marta shares her three defining grief moments: heartbreak, injury, and losing her sister.

    • These losses cracked her open and redirected her path toward healing work.

    • We unpack how loss of mobility and identity can be just as painful as death.

    • Grief forced Marta inward—leading to sobriety, meditation, and deeper purpose.

    • She began to understand her patterns and slowly rebuilt from the inside out.

    • This was the foundation for her coaching, creativity, and rediscovery of joy.

    • Grief isn’t linear—it’s a spiral with no set timeline.

    • The “five stages” were meant for the dying, not the grieving.

    • Comparison keeps us stuck; every grief journey is wildly unique.

    • We’ve been conditioned to grieve privately and in silence.

    • Marta emphasizes that asking for help is one of the bravest things we can do.

    • Healing happens faster and deeper when it’s witnessed by others.

    • Pain isn’t a punishment—it’s a portal.

    • Grief revealed Marta’s depth of love, capacity for compassion, and resilience.

    • She speaks to how grief can be both devastating and awakening.

    • Grace is seeing the divine and the messy in everyone at the same time.

    • Marta shares how grief helped her soften her judgments.

    • We talk about how this shift expands every relationship—starting with ourselves.

    • We’re not just grieving personally—we’re carrying global grief, too.

    • Marta and I name the weight of unacknowledged collective pain.

    • Giving language to this experience is the first step toward release.

    • Stop waiting for the grief to “end” before reclaiming your joy.

    • We’re never finished grieving, and that’s okay.

    • Choosing joy, even in sorrow, is radical and necessary.

CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION

I hope that you’ll join me in this movement, and that you can authentically reconnect with who you really are. That’s where your essence and your gems really lie.

Follow along on Instagram
@brookejeanunperfected to see how ridiculous I am IRL.

Join my private Facebook group Mommy’s Mental Health Matters and let’s continue the conversation, uplift one another, and build the life that we have always dreamed of. I would love to have you!

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subscribe, rate and review the unPERFECTED pod, share the episode on social media, and tag me at @brookejeanunperfected.

Thanks so much for listening!