What if the secret to thriving in motherhood isn’t doing more… but trusting more?

That’s exactly what Stephanie Konter-O’Hara is helping women rediscover—especially during the raw, often disorienting early stages of motherhood. Stephanie is a licensed therapist, group practice owner, host of the Redefining Us podcast, and newly published author of the workbook Becoming Mommy. She joined me for a soul-shaking episode of The Unperfected Pod, where we unpacked what it really means to find yourself again after becoming a mom.

Stephanie’s workbook, Becoming Mommy, was born out of her own journey into motherhood. Like many of us, she entered that season with expectations about who she’d be, what kind of mother she’d become, and how she’d maintain some version of the life she knew before. But motherhood doesn’t work like that. It doesn’t follow your timeline or respect your to-do list. It tears you open, asks you to question everything, and then invites you to rebuild—this time with intention.

The workbook is centered around one key idea: realigning with your core values. Motherhood changes everything—your energy, your identity, your relationships. Stephanie invites women to pause in the midst of it all and ask, “What do I value now, and how do I want to live and parent from that place?”

For her, the process led to a powerful realization. She discovered that two of her deepest values—independence and connection—were often in conflict. One pulled her toward solitude, autonomy, and leadership. The other craved collaboration, intimacy, and nurturing community. Both were valid. Both were essential. But trying to live only from one or the other was creating inner chaos.

“I had to let go of doing motherhood successfully by the world’s standards and start defining success based on my values. That’s where freedom lives.” —Stephanie Konter-O’Hara

We talked about how many women—especially high-achieving, perfectionistic ones—get caught in this trap of “either-or” thinking. You’re either the fully present mom or the ambitious boss. You’re either emotionally connected or completely independent. Stephanie’s wisdom reframed this for us. It’s not about choosing one identity over another. It’s about honoring both and giving yourself permission to hold space for the complexity.

She opened up about her experience with postpartum anxiety and intrusive thoughts—the kind that spiral late at night and make you question whether you’re enough. From fears about her baby’s sleep and food to irrational beliefs about being the only secure attachment figure, she described what it was like to live in that constant state of fear and control. But she also shared how she began to heal—through therapy, support from her village, and reclaiming her voice.

We touched on something that too often gets left out of the parenting conversation: the importance of redefining success. Stephanie realized she didn’t have to copy what other moms were doing—whether it was obsessing over gross motor skills or raising the perfect helper. For her, success as a parent means raising a child who can regulate her emotions and feel secure in her attachment. That became her guiding light.

There’s something so liberating about choosing what matters most to you and letting that shape your motherhood journey.

This episode is a permission slip for every mother who feels like she’s drowning in expectations. You get to do it differently. You get to prioritize your values. You get to trust that who you are is exactly what your child needs.

If you're in the thick of it—trying to remember who you are, what you believe, and how the hell to show up in a way that feels real—grab Stephanie's workbook Becoming Mommy. It’s a sacred guide for reconnecting with your truth in the middle of the mess. Available now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop.org.

Connect with Stephanie!

Website: https://wellmindedcounseling.com/redefining-us-podcast
Stephanie's workbook: https://a.co/d/b462dWn
Instagram: @wellmindedcounseling
Facebook: Well Minded Counseling

Take care of yourself and there for each other!

XO, Brooke Jean